It’s our anniversary today. And I’ve noticed a few things about today. First, the weather – comfortable temperature, cool breeze, blue sky, and few puffy clouds. Just like it was 16 years ago. And we found ourselves with an extra gift this afternoon. The gift of time. As with summer spontaneity, our son ended up at a friend’s home and the girls joined my Dad for an afternoon bike ride on a local trail. And so…
We folded laundry. Not kidding. And then I heard him say, “I guess we can go on a bike ride.” It’s not his most favorite thing, but he knew I’d enjoy the time together and the opportunity to bask in my favorite kind of weather.
And on this bike ride, I noticed a few things. I have been on this route before, several times. But this time, I was on my mountain bike, not my road bike. As soon as we found ourselves on the local trail, I must have gotten into “mode”. Before I knew it, I heard this voice say, “Hey, where’s the fire?” Oops, I realized we must have had a different agenda in mind.
Now, don’t let me fool you, in years past, I would have responded in one of two ways. I would have ignored the sarcasm and simply stuck to my agenda OR I would have fallen back and taken the passive-aggressive approach to let him know I wasn’t too pleased with him not getting on the same page. This time, I simply recognized that there was no need for speed and that having different expectations were just that – different. It was much more important to me to coast along beside each other than pushing my muscles.
On our way back, another thought popped into my mind. It was as if I heard the words, “Let him lead”. You see, Aaron was on the inside part of the path so that he could tuck in behind me when another biker approached, in a very gentelmanly-protective role that he naturally plays so well. And yet, it was when we were beside each other that I noticed my tire was still a bit ahead of his. And so, in a gesture I’m sure he never even noticed, I made it a point to make a conscientious decision to pedal at a pace that left me slightly behind his wheel. I wanted to let him lead.
Oh my gracious, can I tell you what a change of heart this is for me. Not in a shoulders-back, nose-up manner, but in a way that can only be explained by the fact that, in all humility, I have allowed (truth be told, begged-pleaded-prayed) for the Lord to change my heart, to help me see. It has been a slow, step-by-step process of out-with-the-old and in-with-the new. I have asked for some major pruning, and though painful at times, I carried quite a bit of dead weight with me, some pretty ugly selfishness. One thing I now know, it has made all the difference. I have “tasted and seen” the good that comes from following the ways in which God talks about. His way for marriage is that the husband leads.
And this I now know… In allowing Him to lead, I don’t lose who I am, I gain a better us.
God’s ways are ALWAYS better than mine.
For his side of the story, click here. He’s a much better writer than I 
Lord, thank you for showing me this today. With you as the center, our marriage is a unity. It’s a beautiful gift. It’s a gift that comes along with the realization that letting go of my agenda, my misconceptions, allows room to accept your perfect design that represents your lead over the church. Thank you for the love we have for each other, no doubt forged over time, and imperfect in and of itself, yet grounded in a love that IS perfect. We know this because you ARE love. Thank you in advance for a wonderful evening we get to spend together. May others know today that this love extends to them as well. Amen.
Filed under: husband, marriage
